On Dreams

Oct. 13th, 2010 01:43 pm
tali_phoenix: (Default)
The average subconscious can throw out some weird and wonderful concepts while you sleep, but really... this takes the cake.
Reality: I'm transitioning [male to female]. Bombed Uni [Computing then Politics] because of several health reasons, and I dislike Apple products [yes, this IS relevant]

Dream. Cis Female or at least more feminine looking and younger looking than I am now, studying what I think was drama related stuff, more behind the scenes I think [so that's about right]. I had random friends that look vaguely familiar from my own memories, [some them weren't even annoying any more!]. This is where it takes a right turn from reality; I was sitting in a lecture, wide awake, taking notes on an iPad [or something that resembled an iPad, it may have been a computer from SG: Atlantis instead, just slimmer]. After the lecture I was cuddled up and having lunch with someone from the US, probably Texan [yes I have a strange thing for accents!]. Also, it was like warm wherever I was and dammit I was happy [if confused by it cause my brain was like, "yeah this isn't right."]

At which point I woke up. I want to go back to sleep, it was warm and fuzzy and ultimately sweet.

Now to go get ready for an early shift at work cause there's a meeting they want me to attend, management patting each other on the backs for being all ace and groovy and that they care about us... while trying to get rid of as many people as they can.
tali_phoenix: (Default)
Ok, sorry about the long delay.

Apparently struggling to exist foodwise, and facing severe hardship of having to find out what fat I can cut from my existance, when I was on lean already... isn't a problem, at least not for my employer... I'm going to just forget to eat and when I passout and they ask whats wrong I'll just weakly blast them. I wonder if this method would work.

At least for this week.

Next week I'm going to be staying with [personal profile] deeperdown who will force feed me if I try this down there. I'm sooo looking forward to this! I need away from here and my old life.

In the mean time, doing a step by step clearing of my apartment, as its a tip and I've asked a friend to check in every so often, for a specific letter may arrive. Also in case this place is broken into.
Oh, and depression is back, so lets just sit in our housecoats for days at a time, watch a movie 11 times in a row. Oh depression, I've missed you. >.<

tali_phoenix: (Default)
Ok, Random updates.
Assassins Creed II: WTF Ubisoft, seriously, strangest ending, ever. EVER!

Force Unleashed: Gah, end mission, I need to do you again, this time I'm going kick Vaders backside rather than the Emperor. With a shiny Gold or Red blade I have decided. Maybe Red, just to see what Red v Red looks like *shrug*.

Mass Effect 2: Ooooh god that's a game with a lot of replay value, kinda, the resource hunt annoys me. The missions all feel different when you have to think tactically, rather than "oh, I'll grab my assault rifle and shoot." At which point I invariably go "oh. NO Assault Rifle. Crap. Shotgun? Too far away." AND opting to go with a pistol... damn you distance and accuracy.

Hmmm Saboteur is fun. GTA + WW2 Paris, and you are one pissed off and vengeful Irishman with a grudge, and a resistance movement that can get you fun weapons. Apparently you can swipe a tank as well >.> I've contented myself with the AA Guns and using Nazi Zeppelin's as target practice.

Work, bite my shiny metal ass, seriously. S fuck you, for taking so long. P fuck you for kicking that back. Now I have a confused D [he's middle grade between both S and P] with a stress risk assessment and an increase of hours request... this MIGHT work to my advantage. You never know.

I have wasted my three day weekend, listening to online radio, gaming and the odd bit of shoe shopping ^.^
tali_phoenix: (Default)
Too Long, Can't Be Bothered Recapping:
Life is good.
Laptop due Tuesday
GIC meeting Wednesday
Work starts back Thursday.
Classes 10 days later.

kinda worried/curious as to what will be asked and said at the clinic but meh. This is something I think? I want.

Hope everyone is doing fantastic in 2010.

Oh yeah and Mass Effect 2, end of this month.
tali_phoenix: (Default)
 Uhm yeah... frequent updates didn't really happen.

Okay, erm waiting on appointment coming through from the GIC [still - I know these things take time]. Will be changing my name when appropriate, not sure on middle name, keep initials XOR follow my family tradition and use my paternal grandparents first name.

Back at Uni, studying politics, history and philosophy.
additional: my student loans claim was not screwed up, I gots my money on time.

Had a meeting at work [yes dear employers, I will be billing you for cost of travel since this was incurred because you insisted "omg Monday appt or nothing" for this meeting. FUCK YOU!, 40 minutes for travel, each way, for a half hour meeting causing me to miss classes. So that's an expenses claim and flexi-time. I WILL be insisting on it.
Meeting was to explain sleep apnea and my issues with it, in regards to work / sickness absence. Recommendation that I get covered by the Disability Discrimination Act.

Found $old_employer pension details. Will be updating my records with them, or more... I tried, and they did what the could and sent paperwork to allow me to do the rest. Still not got it, will call to check see if they screwed up my address.

Chasing credit card application [worst possible time to do it - however I am careful with money and this is more to build up my credit rating for when the market recovers, bill is getting cleared BEFORE any interest charges hit for I am not stupid.

Still needing to fill out / return form to get me put on the Electoral Roll - will do that today... maybe.

Peace, Love, Understanding and Respect :D
tali_phoenix: (Default)
Erm massive update time! Okay, time to recap.

In the past 7 weeks I've pestered the local dr's office - June present with a letter from my counsellor going "Yeah, erm refer to GIC kthnxbai!" I think I mentioned that one.

July, exactly 1 month later I poke for an update and basically it was implied that the referral was being sent, the had to decide IF it was something they could push forward to ONE of the GIC's in Scotland [Sandyford in Glasgow rather than Myskow's Clinic in Edinburgh]

I call just out of curiosity in August, day before the 2 month marker... they were just sending the referral.
Natalie was annoyed but mollified by the fact it was sent.

Still not heard from Sandyford Clinic yet - will call them just to ask. Knowing the dumbasses at Tayside NHS they probably sent it to the student halls of residence where I no longer stay.

Work sucks still - but my friend is back so I get SOME touch woot woot. Almost had to go fulltime worker bee - thats bad. Natalies cant handle full time call centre monkey.

Uni-wise, I have transferred to the MA Politics course, IF I can get £600 or so in 5 days. So far I have £240, with £120 due from a friend/Cuddleslut, £90 from another [J] and unspecified amount from another [L], Hopefully L kicks in £100, or at the very least £50

If not, I'm screwed, totally, in the butt, without lube. By a well endowed wrench.

In other news... I'm so digging on Steampunk styled music and clothing styles.
tali_phoenix: (Default)
 Faithful readers, I do apologise.

I've been so distractable that I havent had a chance to post.

Counselling is going well. Post Traumatic Stress Diagnosis AND she agrees that I may have gender dysphoria counsellor L Is helping write a letter to my GP explaining the issues cause I don't trust them. I just need to be punted to the right "specialists". Normally I'm all for counselling and resolving the issues, but damnit, I want the pills. Otherwise I'll be in for repeat panic attacks, self-loathing (damn that protruberance!), depression.

Somehow I seemed to have chatted to the right people "in normal society"... they do not object to me (woohoo! social acceptance high-five), in fact they LIKE me (dives back under the covers and retreats to Internet-Land).

Still trying to catch my advisor of studies so I can leave my current course and switch to Politics (damn it, why cant I find the time to just say "fuck it" and hunt her down!).

Work is still work... oh right, need to let boss + HR know whats going on before I start growing a chest I suppose. - Will wait till *I* know whats going on. In future, plz-do-not-be-telling-me you put in a complaint about my friend. I wanna tell her but I know it makes things worse.

Huh? My dm session has been postponed twice *dance*. Star Trek + Game Of Thrones was worth it (I won!!!!!)
Still reflecting that while Shade was here, he hung out with goths that made no sense. I hang out with hippy-type people, and "non-gothy awesome people" online, and general strange folks off line. Maybe this is a reflection on us/me.
*looks up* Oh my, thats quite a bit. I promise to update more often.

Enjoy a cup of brown joy (Tea!)

Peace and Love.


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